Alfred Chicken

Play of Alfred... a chicken. And bounce through many levels of... "fun." No plot... no action... It's repetitiveness gone monotonous.

            Isn't he high and mighty?                    "WHY AM I IN SUCH A SUCKY                               Cannonball!

                                                                      GAME? WHY!!!!!?" He asked himself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

             Wind up mice of DOOM!

 

 

Ironhawk's Review

Graphics:  8    Actually, pretty good.  It seems that the developers put a good deal of time into creating a good looking engine.

Sound:  2    You know what the background music sounds like?  "Sing a happy happy happy happy happy happy song, sing a happy..."

Playability:  4    The controls are very limited.  The chicken can jump, and glide, and dive bomb.  Hit detection is off so you will die by magically hitting the "side" of an enemy.

Concept:  1    The most generic of 2D game genres combined with the most generic of all fowl to form the ultimate 16 bit video game!  Alfred Chicken!

Retro Value:  0    Follow Nightowl's advice.  Should you ever want to experience this game again, download any shareware DOS platformer.  You know, the kind with a splash screen at the end of the first level asking you to put up $40 for the full version with 80 levels...

Overall: 2    There.  Now let us never speak of it again.

Nightowl's Review

Graphics: 7    Crystal clear, smooth graphics. No frame-rate problems, perfect in every way...

Sound: 2    ...but then the sound comes into play. Hearing irritating, repeating  midi ballads of who knows what makes you want to tear your ears right off your frigin' head! And did I mention the annoying "cluck" when you get killed?

Playability: 2    I felt like ripping my hair out trying to get "Popeye's latest victim" to jump over stuff.  The control is very unresponsive, the exact opposite of what a game sound be.

Concept: 3    It's a cheesy 2-D platformer with a future McNugget in it.  What's cool about that? We'll never know.

Retro Value: 2    I say we should go in front of Nintendo headquarters and burn every cartridge on earth so future generations will know nothing of this generic 2-D abomination.

Overall: 2    Sorry, I need to do something useful with my time. Like wash my dog.